wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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