i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
