he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
