she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize