i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
