Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
