if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
