is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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