quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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