why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize