Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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