He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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