I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
