I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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