I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
