Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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