The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
