just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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