I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
