bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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