dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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