i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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