Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
