she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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