He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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