I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize