thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
