my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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