I look better un-naked...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
