belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
