it hurts more in the daytime
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
