Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
