is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
