i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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