mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
