I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize