I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
