Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
