Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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