you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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