I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
