So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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