She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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