I think I am morally bankrupt
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
