And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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