You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
