your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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