Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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