She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
