So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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