Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
