If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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