Just cropdusted the office
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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