Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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