There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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