I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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