Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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