just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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