Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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