I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
