new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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